Christians face difficult ethical questions about when, how, and with whom to date. In scripture, there is no hard and fast rules about dating. Different denominations have different views on the subject, but many young Christians wonder if, or how, their faith should affect their romantic relationships.
Many Christian couples opt for courtly love, with the focus on companionship and friendship. Courtly love, which is also sometimes known as “sacred marriage,” typically involves refraining from physical contact, such as kissing and sexual conduct, in order to focus on building a spiritual bond. During courtly love, couples often spend time in religious activities together, such as prayer and Bible study.
Some Christians believe that if two believers are in a committed relationship then it is OK to kiss and engage in other forms of physical contact. However, this point of view is not universally accepted. Some denominations and denominations within denominations may allow it while others may not. Therefore, it is important to research one’s own particular denomination’s view on the matter.
When it comes to premarital sex, even those who advocate for physical contact during dating agree that it is best to abstain until marriage. Both the Bible and church tradition emphasise abstinence, as it encourages emotional intimacy, commitment and fidelity. This can help couples to build foundations and provide a rich and fulfilling relationship, but it can also be a difficult task for young people in an increasingly promiscuous culture.
The wider Christian view on dating typically advises people to treat the opposite sex with respect and emphasises the importance of pursuing holiness. Like courtly love, it advocates for a relationship to be built on strong foundations of mutual respect and trust, rather than physical attraction or pleasure. It also encourages patience for couples, as it reminds them the importance of taking time to get to know each other instead of rushing into a relationship.
In addition to physical boundaries, Christians are also expected to adhere to emotional and spiritual boundaries. This includes avoiding temptations that may lead to sin and remaining open and honest with each other. Couples should strive to be honest about their feelings and intentions and to maintain a united front in their relationship. This involves respecting each other’s wishes and refraining from manipulating or pressuring their partner into certain actions.
Finally, it is important to consider the role of family and the community in Christian dating. Couples should strive to be a positive example to their families and friends, and be aware of the expectations that come with being in a public relationship. This may include respecting parents and elders, and avoiding negative behaviour and gossip. This will help to ensure that the relationship remains healthy and respectful.
God in the Relationship
It is important for Christians to ensure that their relationship is centered around God. This may involve attending church together or taking part in a spiritual activity such as praying or discussing Bible verses. This will help to ensure that the focus of the relationship is God and not any earthly desires, which may lead to negative behaviours. It is important to remain focused on serving God and loving others above all else, in order to ensure a healthy, strong relationship.
A good way for Christian couples to maintain a god-centered relationship is by setting boundaries. These may include avoiding topics that may be controversial or contentious, such as discussing beliefs or politics. The Bible encourages us to remain open-minded and respectful towards people of different faiths and beliefs, and couples should strive to do this in their relationship. This can help to create an environment of mutual growth and understanding.
Setting boundaries also helps to ensure that the couple’s relationship does not become too close. Couples should recognise that although they may be deeply in love, they are still two different people with different opinions and personalities. Keeping a distance between each other allows for individual growth, as well as providing opportunities for them to learn more about each other and grow closer. This can help to make a relationship healthy and strong.
Finally, prayer is an essential tool for maintaining a godly relationship. Couples should make time to prayerfully discuss their relationship and their goals for the future. Through prayer, couples can make sure that their love is rooted in God’s love and that they are walking in God’s will. Praying together can also give a couple strength in difficult times and provide a united front.
Dating in a Faithful Manner
It is important for Christian couples to ensure that their relationship is conducted in a faithful manner. This includes abstaining from premarital sex, refraining from flirting with other people, and avoiding places that may lead to negative behaviours. Couples should strive to respect each other and show love in their actions, words and deeds. This will help to ensure that their relationship does not involve any activities that would go against their faith and beliefs.
Having a strong spiritual foundation is also important for a healthy relationship. Couples should strive to lead lives that are modelled on Christ’s example and to uphold his teachings. This may include sharing one another’s burdens and showing selfless love, even when times are tough. This can help to ensure that the couple’s love is rooted in God’s and that they can continue to rely on his guidance and protection.
It is also important to maintain a balance between accountability and pureness. Couples should strive to be honest with one another and strive toward a pure relationship. This may involve having people that they can trust to speak truth and love into their relationship. Having a strong, supportive network of friends and family can help to ensure that the couple can be open and honest with one another, particularly in times of difficulty.
Physical contact should also be a sacred act for couples. They should strive to respect each other’s boundaries and to ensure that physical expressions of love are done in a pure manner. This will help to ensure that their relationship remains healthy and in line with their faith. Physical contact is a valuable part of expressing love to one another and couples should strive to keep it pure and free from temptation.
Importance of Waiting
When it comes to dating, it is important for Christian couples to remain obedient to God and His Word. This may involve waiting until marriage before engaging in sexual conduct or waiting until a relationship is appropriate and fulfills Biblical commands. Waiting can be difficult, particularly in a culture that advocates for hook ups and immediate gratification. However, it is important for Christians to remember that the Bible calls us to remain pure and seek God’s best for our lives and relationships.
When it comes to physical contact, couples should exercise caution and remain aware of their intentions. They should strive to ensure that their physical contact is motivated by love and respect, rather than lust. This will help to ensure that the couple’s physical contact is not a hindrance to their relationship but an enhancement.
It is also important to have a plan for the future. This may involve discussing where the couple hopes the relationship is headed, including their short and long-term goals. This will help to ensure that their relationship is heading in the right direction and their actions line up with their faith.
Finally, couples should take time to reflect on their relationship. They should ask if their relationship is glorifying God and if it is a hindrance or an enhancement to their spiritual growth. Praying about their relationship and seeking advice from experienced Christians can help ensure that the relationship is strengthening and not harming them spiritually.
Putting it All Together
When it comes to dating in Christianity, it is important for couples to remain obedient to God and His Word. This may involve abstaining from physical contact and intimacy until marriage, waiting for an appropriate time to pursue a relationship and striving to keep their relationship in line with their faith. It is also important for couples to establish strong foundations for their relationship, including emotional and spiritual boundaries. This will help to ensure a healthy, respectful relationship.
Additionally, it is important that couples put God at the center of their relationship. This may involve attending church together, praying together and having discussions about their faith. This will help to make sure that their relationship is rooted in God’s love and that they are walking in God’s will.
Overall, the Bible does not provide hard and fast rules about dating. Different denominations have different views, however, those that adhere to a Christian faith are expected to treat the opposite sex with respect and strive for a godly relationship. It is important for couples to make sure that their relationship is rooted in mutual respect, honesty and trust, as well as physical and emotional boundaries.
