Is Not Marrying A Sin In Christianity
In Christianity, the decision to marry or not to marry is up to the individual and differs depending on individual beliefs, circumstances and faith journey. As such, the answer to the question “is not marrying a sin in Christianity?” is no. That said, the issue of whether or not to marry is a matter of personal conviction and not something that is decided upon by a sin.
The Bible itself gives very little direction on the notion of marriage, especially as we understand it today. While encouraging marriage in 1 Timothy 5:14, there is no moral prescription of Christian marriage, nor is there any instruction to marry if one does not feel led to do so. The New Testament does provide instructions and guidelines for a Christian marriage through the teachings of Jesus and Paul, but does not lay any expectations of marriage on someone who does not feel led to marry.
The idea of marriage is grounded in Scripture as part of God’s original design for humanity. And when two people choose to marry, it is to be for life – based on the model set in Scripture. However, this does not necessarily mean that marriage is a requirement in Christianity or that not marrying is considered a sin. Rather, abstention from marriage can in some cases be viewed as a noble act with anointing and blessing, such as that exemplified by celibate priests and nuns.
In the Church and in the public domain, some view remaining unmarried as a deliberate and principled act of consecration, devotion and service to God. This could involve serving in religious orders, living with exemplary faith expressions, backing missions, and similar activities that move the Kingdom of God forward, while leveraging the same gifts, skills, and abilities one would have been using in a marriage-centred walk with Christ.
Yet, if unmarried life is pursued for the primary purpose of “self-service” and self-interest, Bible passages like Matthew 19:11 and 1 Corinthians 7:37 indicate that such might not be accepted by God. That said, it is important to recognize that Jesus Christ never took pleasure in excluding or ‘casting off’ a fellow believer – especially from His New Testament Church.
Moreover, it is implausible to argue that abstention from marriage as an assertion of Christian freedom or as an expression of Christian faithfulness is an act of sin. In the scriptures, Paul mentions that it is good for a person to remain unmarried, though some believe this specific statement was addressed to those in the Corinthian Church during that time, and should not be automatically assumed to be applicable to all Christians worldwide.
Why Christians Abstain From Marriage
For Christians, the rationale behind remaining unmarried usually involves carefully considering one’s purpose and callings, existing circumstances and personal convictions. Obviously, this is done with God in mind, and also requires a person to examine whether or not they have money, time, and availability needed for proper marriage maintenance. In some cases, a lack of financial or routine stability due to ongoing job crisis or lack of proper education can present valid reasons for someone to remain unmarried. This is truer today than ever, given the economic and societal pressures brought by the global pandemic.
Indeed, some Christians, even those ripe and ready to marry, opt to remain unmarried as they wait on God to open the right door and connect them to the right person. This often occurs alongside the belief that divorced individuals have God’s absolution and understanding before making a commitment to marriage again.
The point is, there are always reasons for how a person decides to remain unmarried, or indeed to marry for that matter. Despite the institution of marriage being widely encouraged in religions across the board, this does not invalidate decisions that an individual makes with respect to their personal convictions.
The Values Of Abstention From Marriage
Abstention from marriage is seen as a great opportunity for personal growth and development. This may be seen in those joining the missionary work or the priesthood. Missionaries and priests forgo marriage for a life devoted to the service of God, using the extra time to serve His purposes. It also may come in the form of a person contributing financially to the immediate family, offering support in the lives of others, and volunteering in the community.
Abstaining from marriage also provides an avenue for Christians to develop character and qualities that help shape their relationship with God. It can be a time to pray, seek, and do the work of God. It gives young Christians the opportunity to cultivate patience in waiting on God’s timing, wisdom in understanding one’s purpose and motivations, and strength in trusting God’s will for a singular or married life.
When a believer sets out to abstain from marrying, preferring a period of singleness, physical health, mental and psychological well-being, and spiritual nourishment become top concerns. All these form essential pieces for a balanced life approach, and the un-married season could be the ideal period for a person to adequately discern their calling or journey and get properly established for the next phase.
What The Bible Says About Abstention From Marriage
The Bible presents abstention from marriage as an entirely honorable and possible path for Christians, and one which should be pursued in accordance with one’s convictions and faith commitments.
Jesus himself taught that not everyone is born to marry, even understanding the implications of marriage being ‘God’s original design’ and ‘His way of expressing His love’. In fact, Jesus went as far as to call those abstaining from marriage “eunuchs” in the parable of the 10 virgins in Matthew 25:1-12.
Also, Paul paints a grim picture of marriage for those unable to remain chaste or follow God’s directives. In 1 Corinthians 7:25-38, Paul explains the advantages of remaining unmarried, and also cautions against marrying if it isn’t beneficial to one’s spiritual growth and development.
In summary, both the Old and New Testament recognize marriage as honorable and ideal in the eyes of God, but do not consider abstention from marriage as an act of sin.
The Pros and Cons of Not Marrying
Just like any decision, there are both benefits and drawbacks to not marrying. The pros may include being able to develop and focus on your spiritual walk with God, pursuing education and other opportunities that provide growth, freedom to prioritize causes and ministries, and pursuit of your passion without distraction. It also provides freedom from financial responsibilities and the tied requirements that come with marriage.
Conversely, the cons of not marrying could include the feeling of loneliness that comes with the lack of companionship, not having the kind of intimacy, affection and security that a marriage relationship provides, and potentially missing out on having children and starting a family. This may bring both emotional and financial stresses as a result of being single.
Contemporary Debates and Discussions on Not Marrying
In the contemporary Church, there are ongoing debates and discussions on the morality of abstention from marriage in the Christian faith. Within the Church, some argue that marriage is essential to the life of any believer, and that remaining unmarried is in some ways a wounding of God’s original design for humanity. However, the counter argument is that not all Christians are mandated to marry – and that there is a blessing and anointing in choosing to remain single and reserved for purposes of ministry and service to God.
Ultimately, as a matter of personal conviction and faith, the decision to marry or to remain unmarried is up to each individual, and should be informed by the fact that remaining unmarried is not a sin in Christianity.
The Call to Love and Serve in Abstention from Marriage
Romantic relationships are often defined by our ability to give and get love from one another. Similarly, the un-married season should be defined by the same pursuit – and with a robust understanding of the purpose. Abstention from marriage doesn’t just provide opportunity to develop quality characteristics, increase spirituality and commitment to the Lord and ministry, it also provides an avenue to extend love, compassion, and further service to humanity and the broader society.
In the end, not marrying is a personal decision to be made in conjunction with prayer, guidance and consideration. Marrying or not marrying is not a sin, but rather a matter of personal faith and conviction. What is, however, openly encouraged across the scriptures is understanding and embracing the significance of abstention from marriage in the context of Kingdom service.
Using Un-Married Time Wisely
It can be assumed that choosing not to marry is largely about Kingdom service and personal growth. But how do people use whatever free time they have in a beneficial manner? The Bible is emphatic about not wasting our allotted time, but rather investing it in doing the things that would bring glory to God.
A key way to use un-married time wisely is to spend quality time with God, building a deeper relationship with Him. This also involves growing spiritually by studying the Scriptures, and developing a lifestyle of prayer and humility. It also provides an opportunity to serve in church, develop a leadership role, and use whatever gifts and abilities to bless the Body of Christ.
Just like any other season, the un-married season comes with the need to strategically use the extra resources and opportunity wisely. The idea of spending valuable time wisely is not limited to just abstention from marriage; even married individuals can exercise this virtue within their relationships. The goal of both single and married members of the Church is to bring glory to God.
Fulfilment in Abstention from Marriage
When choosing to remain unmarried, it may very well come with its own anxieties and insecurities. However, when choosing the path of celibacy, the goal should be to find joy, peace and fulfilment in the decision. Abstention from marriage should not be viewed as punishment or missing out on something, but rather a special season of appreciation, purposeful commitment and spiritual growth.
Part of finding fulfilment in the season of abstention from marriage can be achieved by being in the presence of God, rejoicing in His goodness and faithfulness in providing blessings and grace. It is also important to find joy in everyday blessings and to stay present in the moment. This can be done through going on nature walks, listening to music, exploring new interests, developing routines, participating in volunteer work and more.
Seasons of personal singleness should be embraced and enjoyed, not out of coercion, but out of choice and volition. Such decisions should be motivated by knowing your worth and potential, trusting God’s timing, and having an understanding that personal discovery and purposeful living have nothing to do with marital status.
