Grief and Mourners
Grieving the death of a loved one is a natural process that all people must face at some point, regardless of faith and culture. Judaism follows certain customs and traditions when a death occurs to help comfort the mourners and honor the deceased. Saying certain words are just some of the common rituals one may see in Judaism when someone passes away.
When someone has passed away, there is an expression often said in sympathy for the mourner’s loss. Many Jewish people practice a tradition in which the first words expressed at the time of the deceased being announced is “Baruch Dayan Ha’Emet”. This phrase is written in Hebrew and translates to “Blessed is the True Judge.” By saying this phrase, Jewish people acknowledge that God is the ultimate authority and decider of life and death. It serves to remind those mourning the person who has died of the God’s ultimate power and the eternal respect given to the dead.
The loss of a loved one is a very painful and difficult experience. This is why Judaism provides comfort to mourners as they cope with their loss. It offers a platform to help mourners process their emotions and express their feelings to God. Rabbi Avi Weiss, a professor of Jewish thought, says: “Jewish tradition says that when someone passes away, mourning takes precedence over nearly any other ritual practice. It is a time of deep sadness, but also of gratitude for the life of the one who passed away.”
The tradition of Kaddish is one of the common ways to honor a deceased in the Jewish faith. Kaddish is a prayer recited in several languages and consists of praising God and declaring his greatness. The Kaddish prayer is said in memory of the deceased and to bring solace to the mourning family. It is typically recited by the first-born son or a Rabbi and concludes with the words “Blessed His great Name forever.” Ultimately, the purpose of Kaddish is to provide comfort to the mourner through prayer and remembering the life of the deceased.
Funeral and Burial Practices
The traditional way of handling funerals and burials in the Jewish faith is very specific. As soon as a body is declared dead, the relatives of the deceased prepare the body for burial. The body is dressed in a plain white linen garment called a Shroud, with straps to tie the arms and legs together. This is to illustrate that the person was living a simple life and is no longer associated with materialism and possessions. Prayers are read as a way of honoring the deceased.
According to Jewish law, an immediate burial must occur as soon as possible. The body should not be embalmed or autopsied, as these types of practices involve delaying the burial process. Funeral homes owned by the Jewish faith are available in many areas, so the families can work with a provider who is familiar with the customs and traditions.
The actual burial takes place in a Jewish cemetery with a special section named the Ohel. Here, a mound is formed over the actual grave and plants, monuments, and stones are placed around it, indicating the burial location. Stones symbolize being rooted to the ground and serve as a constant reminder of the life that was once lived by the person in death.
Yizkor, Monuments, and Bereavement
Yizkor is a part of the Jewish tradition that allows for family members to silently meditate and honor the deceased in their prayers. It is said four times a year during some of the major holidays and is done to remember those passed away. After reciting prayers of remembrance, those present can lay bouquets of flowers on the deceased’s grave if it is in the same vicinity.
Monuments are often used in the Jewish faith to memorialize the deceased and serve as a reminder of the life that was once lived. These monuments often include a Star of David, a Torah, or a tree planted in the name of the deceased. Families often feel comforted by this and see it as a constant reminder of their love and respect for the deceased.
It is also traditional in Judaism to observe a period of mourning after the death of a loved one. This period, referred to as Shiva, generally lasts seven days and is observed at the home of the deceased’s family. During this period, friends, relatives, and neighbors are encouraged to come by and offer support and compassion. During the mourning period, traditional prayers are recited and participants often sit on low stools, in a show of humility.
Grief Counseling and Support
Judaism not only recognizes the pain of losing someone, but also offers ways to cope with the grief. Mourning can bring up a range of emotions – from guilt, anxiety, and depression – which Jews are encouraged to recognize and express freely. Because of this, many Jewish congregations and organizations have grief counseling programs and support groups available for mourners and those in need.
For those who have recently lost a loved one, Rabbi Yosef Kanefsky, a renowned rabbi in Los Angeles, suggests honoring the deceased’s memory by volunteering in one’s community or participating in other charitable acts. He states that “When we become actively engaged in acts of kindness and goodness on behalf of another’s memory, something wonderful happens. A kind of spirit is injected into our lives that carries us forward.”
Crisis Intervention and Spiritual Support
When someone dies, it can be a traumatic experience. Jewish communities recognize this and often provide crisis intervention to those in need. People can receive spiritual guidance, advice, and comfort from rabbis or others in the community. This guidance helps individuals manage the crisis and make sense of the death of the loved one.
In addition, many congregations offer support systems and meetups for the families of the deceased. Here, bereaved families can get together and talk about the shared experience of their loss. By bringing together people to discuss their losses, Judaism offers a safe place for grieving families to share their stories, provide consolation and declare their loved ones memory.
Rituals of Comfort
Jewish practice also includes rituals of comfort and condolence. These include meals of condolence known as Seudat Havraah where a group of mourners gather in the home of the deceased so the hosts can serve a meal. This allows community members to express their sorrow and honor the deceased through sharing a meal and providing support to the grieving family.
Rituals like these are a way of providing comfort to the family in their time of need. It is also a way for mourners to remember the deceased and celebrate his or her life. Rabbi Gideon Sylvester, a prominent rabbi in the UK, remarks that: “We offer hospitality to mourners and are committed to standing by our brothers and sisters in their time of grief.”
Giving of Charity and Memorial Speeches
Charity is another big part of the Jewish tradition that helps mourners cope with their loss. After a death in the family, it is traditional to give food or donations in the name of the deceased. This is an act of kindness and a reminder to honor the life of the deceased by helping the less fortunate.
Memorial speeches are also used to honor the deceased and their memory. During a memorial speech, friends and family can share stories and memories of the person who passed away. They can also thank God for the life of the deceased and offer final prayers of gratitude. In this way, Judaism offers a respectful way to honor our dead as we express gratitude for the time spent with them.
Symbolism of Jewish Funerals
Jewish funerals have many symbolic elements that are unique to the religion and its customs. Every aspect of the funeral and burial is carried out with the intention to honor our dead and provide solace to those left behind. A key component of the funeral is the Shroud and its significance. Wrap the deceased in a plain white garment, symbolically releasing the deceased from any attachment to material possessions, and to emphasize a life of modesty. This act is said to allow the soul to be freed and ascend to Heaven.
Other symbols associated with Jewish funerals include the implements used to cover the grave and the eulogizing of the deceased. At the end of the funeral, stones are often placed on the grave, to symbolize being rooted to the ground and offer a long-lasting reminder of the life that was once lived by the deceased. The eulogy is also an important part of the process, symbolizing the remembrance of the deceased’s life and how it has impacted those around them.
Expressions of Love and Respect
Expressing our love and respect for the deceased is one of the cornerstones in the Jewish tradition. Through these common expressions and practices, Jews, both living and deceased, can feel more connected to their community. It allows for those who have grieved to find comfort and solace in the face of extreme grief, while also honoring the life of those passed away.
Most importantly, Judaism reminds its practitioners that death is a part of life and that we must be prepared for it. Mourning with care and compassion is an essential part of the process and helps us to remember that life continues even in times of extreme loss and grief.
