A Funeral For My Christianity
I used to be actively involved in my church and embraced Christianity without fail. From going to Sunday services religiously, to praying for guidance and strength, it all seemed like a no-brainer for me. But things started to change when I became an adult. All of a sudden, my spiritual beliefs were being tested and challenged in ways I had never before imagined.
My struggles began when I started questioning long-held beliefs in the Bible. When I discovered scientific evidence which contradicted some of the stories in Genesis and other biblical accounts, I began to doubt the veracity of certain doctrines. Issues of morality and why certain religious values are accepted as “right” while others are considered “wrong” also presented me with a moral conundrum.
I soon realized that I could no longer cling to the doctrine of Christianity unchanged, disregarding my own questioning. So, I decided that I would try to reconcile my Christian beliefs with what I knew to be true. I broke down and shed many of the tenets I once held giving myself more room to form a faith that felt more authentic to me. I also educated myself on different religious traditions and spiritual paths, searching for the answers to the questions that always arose when thinking about faith.
This process has not been easy, but it has been necessary. After much soul-searching, I realized that I had outgrown my childhood beliefs. I had to come to terms with the fact that my faith in Christianity could no longer sustain me, as much as I had desperately wanted it to. Thus, I organized a metaphorical “funeral” for my Christianity.
On this fateful day, I lit a candle in my room and surrounded it with various mementos from early days of my spiritual journey. I carefully laid out cross necklaces and bibles that I had collected over the years. I also added items of special significance. As I looked at all of these things, I silently recited an eulogy in my head, paying tribute to all that this religion had brought me.
Semi-ironically, as I said goodbye to my Christianity, I felt a newfound liberation. I was no longer constrained by the same beliefs and could finally explore different spiritual paths. I don’t have to have it all figured out right now, but I can still make the conscious effort to pursue knowledge and understanding.
Finding A New Faith
One of the major steps I took was to learn more about different religious practices. In particular, I developed an interest in Taoism, a Chinese religion which focuses on harmony and balance with the natural world. Taoism made sense to me because it eschews strict rules and regulations in favor of personal insights and practices. It also encourages self-exploration and introspection.
Unlike some other religions which demand belief in a certain deity or practice, Taoism lets its followers craft their own beliefs over time. It allows people the liberty to find their own paths to spiritual fulfilment and peace. That’s why I chose to explore Taoism even further.
The more I learned, the more I resonated with Taoist teachings. I loved the emphasis on naturalism and the reverence people have for the environment. I also enjoy the focus on simplicity and living a minimalist lifestyle, counteracting the materialism of our current society. Additionally, I relish the emphasis on meditation, mindfulness and breathwork, as they help bring focus and clarity in addition to reducing mental and emotional stress.
Overall, I find that Taoism is much less concerned with particular rules and regulations, instead promoting balance and harmony with nature. I think that makes it a great spiritual practice for people who don’t want to be bound by a specific set of beliefs or doctrines.
Building A Community
The journey from my childhood faith to a new spiritual practice has also meant I need to construct a new community around me. Coming from a highly religious background, it can feel awkward to seek out other like-minded people who don’t share the same religion as you, particularly if you live in a predominantly Christian area.
But, I haven’t let that stop me, and venture out whenever I can to meet with potential spiritual friends. I recently joined a Taoism Meetup, for instance, where I was able to make some new connections. It’s been really wonderful to talk to people who can relate to my experiences, and we often share ideas and experiences that help us to grow spiritually.
I’ve also gone out of my way to attend group spiritual retreats and intriguing lectures in my area. By being out in the open and letting others know that I’m open to different spiritual paths and experiences, I find that I am able to make more meaningful connections. I also heard that there are several people in my area who practice Taoism, and am excited to finally meet them and have meaningful dialogue.
I’ve also tried to find spiritual communities online. Joining Facebook groups, attending virtual spiritual retreats and exploring YouTube videos have been helpful in widening my spiritual horizons. I’ve found solace in online communities like these. The feeling of belonging and acceptance that comes from talking to people from all around the world is always a welcome feeling.
Finding My Own Path
In my journey, I’ve come to realize that spiritual growth requires a shift from blind faith to personal exploration. With this newfound understanding, I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t need to follow a particular set of regulations or rules. Instead, I can build my own spiritual path through self-exploration and by connecting to experiences and other people in a meaningful way.
I have also come to know that my beliefs are ever-evolving and that I can continue to nurture them over time. Rather than shying away from difficult conversations, I try to immerse myself in them and learn from different perspectives. This helps me to gain insight into the complexity of different beliefs and regulate mine accordingly.
Though the funeral of my Christianity has been difficult, it is also testament to my own personal growth. It has opened the doors to a world of possibilities, allowing me to explore other spiritual paths which were once unavailable to me. Acknowledging the end of one journey and beginning of another is not an easy thing to do, but it can lead to infinite blessings.
Embracing Uncertainty And Reflection
In this process, I’ve accepted that nothing is permanent and that I need to be open to different ideas and conversations. I’ve learned to welcome the uncertainty and ambiguity of the unknown, because it is only through experience that spiritual growth can occur. This can lead to moments of deep reflection, and I’ve come to embrace them.
The idea of a “funeral” is probably an unfamiliar concept to some. But, for me, it has been a meaningful ritual to pay tribute to my journey and honor the closure it brought. I’ve come to understand that this is just one part of a larger story, and have embraced the uncertainty of the future and all of the new spiritual possibilities that it holds.
Utilizing Modalities To Feel Connected
In addition to exploring different spiritual paths, I have also been open to utilizing modalities such as dreamwork, tarot and astrology, which provide me with a sense of comfort and connection. I believe that reading tarot cards, for instance, serves as a powerful tool for self-reflection, for understanding the present moment, and for gaining perspective. It helps me be in tune with my inner world, and to see what could be possible in the future.
Astrology has been another really powerful tool for me. There’s something so calming about understanding why certain experiences are happening, and uncovering the energetic influences of astrological alignments. I find that taking the time to read through my astrology chart at least once in a while helps me to bring clarity to my life. It further grounds me in my journey and allows me to feel more in touch with my authentic path.
Dreamwork has also been hugely beneficial to me not only because the subconscious can often provide valuable insights, but also because it helps to strengthen intuition and self-awareness. I find that writing down my dreams helps me to interpret them more accurately and better understand their meaning. I use this information to gain clarity on specific issues, or even to just get a fresh perspective on my life. All in all, these modalities are powerful tools for self-discovery, and I will continue to use them throughout my journey.
Harnessing My Power And Growth
Ultimately, I’ve come to understand that I have the power within to create my own spiritual practice. What works for me now may not always work in the future, but that’s okay because it gives me the opportunity to grow. I have found a newfound appreciation for my spiritual journey, despite all its complexity and struggles. With the belief that I can be my own spiritual leader, I look ahead to an exciting future.
I will continue to attend to my spiritual growth by engaging in meaningful conversations, reading extensively and engaging in personal practices such as meditation. Above all, I make sure to take the time to pause, reflect and appreciate the fact that although my journey may be winding, it is also ever-evolving.
