Divorce is a difficult subject for anyone, but especially those whose faiths dictate that the concept of separation is wrong. For Christians, this is particularly hard to reconcile when the concept of divorce is viewed in a completely different light than it is in other belief systems. Is divorce ever allowed in Christianity? The answer to this question is not so simple.
The Bible speaks clearly about the concept of divorce in several passages. In the Old Testament, Malachi 2:16 is particularly telling. It states, “I hate divorce, sayeth the Lord.” This passage implies that divorce is not allowed in Christianity, however, it does not explicitly say it is forbidden. It does, however, emphasize the complexity of divorce and the extreme discomfort the act can create in a holy union.
The New Testament presents a much more nuanced view on the concept of divorce. Jesus himself said, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and the one who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery” (Luke 16:18). This statement implies a slight allowance of divorce in certain cases, as it does not condemn the act entirely. This complexity has lead to deep discussion amongst scholars and theologians.
Experts point to what Jesus said in the same apparent allowance of divorce when he addresses the woman caught in an adulterous relationship: “Neither do I condemn you” (John 8:11). This passage can be interpreted to mean that although divorce is discouraged in a Christian setting, it is not entirely prohibited. It could be a sign that, under certain circumstances, those involved in a situation can part ways if it is deemed just by God.
The Roman Catholic Church has defended the right of divorce since the 1500s, citing exceptions to the rule of divorce being wrong. Canon law allows for divorce when a marriage is “null because it was not validly contracted or because of other impediments”, and the Church teaches that even when married couples enter into the sacrament, there are certain exceptions that could make a marriage null if, for example, the husbands or wives were not old enough to agree to wed.
A life decision as big as divorce is not to be taken lightly but it is important to understand that it is not purely wrong from a Christian perspective as there are exceptions to the general rule that marriage should last until death. With that said, it is never the option of choice for a Christian, and it is important to understand the huge gravity of a decision like this and the potential for spiritual implications for those involved.
Child Custody
When it comes to divorce in Christianity, understanding the concept of child custody is a complicated undertaking. Depending on the jurisdiction, what may be legally requested by the court and what is seen by the church as just and ethical could be two completely different things. Since child custody determinations are based upon the concept of “the best interests of the child”, states may not always recognize the religious convictions of the parent in making a decision.
For many Christian denominations, custody can legally be given to either the mother or the father if the couple agrees, even if the decision would go against one of the parent’s faith-based beliefs. Since religious beliefs can be a very influential factor in child custody cases, court-ordered visits may be considered. It is important that those facing a divorce in Christianity understand the laws surrounding custody in their jurisdiction as to protect the best interests of the child and their own as well.
Financial Implications
Financial implications are another important aspect to understand when facing a potential divorce in Christianity. As with any marital dissolution, financial matters must be discussed in order for an equitable division of the assets to be fair and just for both parties. The marriage may have produced an unequal division of assets, due to one or both of the spouses having earned and maintained a higher income or disparities between the couple.
Divorce in Christianity may place a heavy burden on one or both of the spouses. Depending on the laws and regulations of their state, spouses could be required to pay alimony or attorney fees after a divorce. Additionally, the division of assets may be subject to state law and might not consider the faith of either party. Although an experienced divorce attorney may provide insight and direction, it is important to understand the full financial implications of divorce in Christianity.
Neutrality of the Church
Concerning divorce in Christianity, it is essential to mention that many churches may not recognize the process. Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform Judaic denominations typically refuse to remarry a divorced individual. The same may be said for a variety of Christian denominations, including Roman Catholic, Anglican, and Pentecostal.
When divorce is granted, many Christian denominations practice a doctrine of neutrality towards the marriage. This neutrality remains relative, as many churches only refuse to remarry someone if their faith was a contributing factor in the previous marriage. On the contrary, churches such as Lutheran and Methodist may remarry on sacred grounds.
Counseling and Guidance
In regards to the decision to separate and divorce, many couples seek counseling and guidance frequently. While it is not necessary, many couples facing a crisis in their marriage find it beneficial to be counselled before they decide to separate. In addition to national mental health resources, churches, denominations, and several ministries provide help through marriage seminars, Bible studies, and individual counseling.
It is important to note that no matter what your decision is, it should always be taken seriously as it has potential to be a life-altering decision. When facing divorce in Christianity, weighing out the options is essential with prayer and counseling.
Spiritual Implications
It is no surprise that divorce has the potential to take a toll on an individual’s spiritual life. While it is important to understand that each situation involving divorce in Christianity is unique, it is essential to take into consideration the spiritual implications of a decision before one is made.
Many studies have shown that mental health and spiritual wellbeing are intertwined. According to a study conducted by Ohio State University, “marital turmoil related to divorce can severely damage one’s spiritual life”. This data shows the potential long-term effects that could be a consequence of a partnering choosing to separate.
It is important that those going through this situation take the time to pray, seek guidance from those wiser in faith than them, and to listen for the calling of God for their life. During this difficult journey, it is important to remember and trust that God does answer prayers, and He will provide the answer if it is in the best interests of the individual and their family.
Legal Limitations
Before making a final decision to separate, couples should be aware of the legal implications of a divorce. Depending on the jurisdiction, a divorce may be filed and granted without the consent of the other partner. Furthermore, depending on the type of separation that is requested, there are various regulations and stipulations that must be adhered to, as there are various forms of divorce.
When proceeding with a dissolution of a Christian marriage, both spouses must discover the laws of their state governing marriage and divorce. This includes the division of assets, spousal support, child support, and other factors of a dissolution such as emotional and physical custody. Every state in the United States has different laws regarding the legal aspects of a divorce and what rights are afforded to both parties depending on the situation.
Advocacy
Divorce in Christianity is a very complex and weighty subject. No matter what the decision may be, it is important to have informed advocacy from individuals and organizations that understand the gravity of the situation. It is essential to begin assembling a team of experts that are capable of helping both parties come to an equitable agreement as a Christian marriage dissolution can cause deep financial, emotional, and spiritual consequences if done wrong.
Fortunately, there are many support groups and organizations available that can provide assistance to those seeking to dissolve their marriage while keeping the Christian values alive. These organizations provide both mediation and counseling to the couple that is going through the dissolution in order to provide both parties with an equitable and informed decision.
Above all, it is important to understand that divorce in Christianity is an incredibly sensitive issue. As each situation is unique, it is essential to consider your spiritual wellbeing first and foremost when making such a life-altering decision. The implications and legalities associated should be discussed and understood before taking action.
